I posted a status on the book of faces yesterday about no longer being satisfied working at a job I don’t absolutely love. I said, “I just don’t know what job (that actually pays money) is a good fit for my passions”. It sparked a good bit of conversation between myself and a few friends. Today one of those friends commented that there is no perfect job and I shouldn’t “let the perfect job keep me from the good”. He went on to say, “That pie in the sky mentality of the perfect job does not exist”. Aww man, you mean to tell me I can’t become the CEO of Nirvana?
While I understand his reasoning behind the statement and know he is saying that to me because he cares about me and wants to help, it seems to imply we shouldn’t look for the “perfect job” but simply settle the job which drives us the least bat-crap crazy. You see, seeking “a job” simply for the sake of having a job (a.k.a. Money) is what got me where I am today. I had no plan, no direction, no passion, or goals except to be successful and make a butt load of money. I didn’t care what industry that was in, as long as they paid well. That is why I became a job hopper, hopping from one job to the next, always looking for the bigger, better opportunity. I was a hyper-freelancer in the career of “What’s in it for me?”. There was nothing that barred the hatches and kept me passionately enthusiastic about my job.
Now don’t get me wrong, I know enthusiasm is like a Georgia winter; one day you’re wearing shorts and flip flops, the next day you look like a Sherpa about to conquer Mount Everest. I am not stoned and looking at the world through rose colored glasses. I know, you are never going to find a job where you don’t have seasons of boredom and feel like throwing in the towel. I am aware of the need for a determination, a stick-to-it-tiveness if you will, to decide you are in it for the long haul, no matter what. If I am honest, I have lacked that quality at some points in my life but I don’t think that is the reason for my desire to find “the perfect job”.
The last six years have been hell on earth for me. My career took two mortal blows in 2009 and 2011 which messed with my Psyche in ways I am only now recovering from. The Midas Touch I always seemed to have that brought me constant upward mobility, and allowed me the luxury of securing any job I interviewed for, suddenly decided I had the plague and ruthlessly abandoned me.
In the years spanning from 2009 to 2012 I was unemployed three different times for a total of twelve months. I applied at hundreds, if not thousands, of places and did countless interviews and was rejected time and time again. I had lost my confidence in myself and felt I no longer had anything to offer the workplace. This was compounded by the dual tragedies of my sister dying of cancer and my ex-wife telling me a week later she wanted a divorce. You see why I said it was hell on earth?
It was during this time, I began studying about personality types and how they can help us zero in a career. I took the Briggs-Myers test and was fascinated at how it pin-pointed my personality. Suddenly hopes and dreams I felt guilty for desiring became clear was not a boyish fantasy but a real need. The funny thing is, one of the jobs which is said my personality type (INFP…in case you are wondering) should stay away from is…bum, bum, buuuummm!…sales management! How’s that for a kick in the pants? Haha!
Don’t get me wrong, there was a lot in sales management I loved. The reports, goal setting, and forecasting all played well to my analytical side. I am also very driven to seek recognition and rewards which sales lends well to. Being an intuitive type, the human resources and training side of it was a blast but there was still something missing. Even now, I can’t quite put my finger on what exactly it was. Maybe I didn’t feel it had a real purpose. I am very much a person who wants to make a difference. Being an INFP puts me in Plato’s Idealist category, so I have always been drawn to things like ministry, diplomacy, social issues, and such so maybe my unhappiness was a longing to do something bigger with my life.
I think that’s why I am so determined to be more discriminating in this job search. I want to put the time into finding what would be a perfect fit not only for my acquired skill set but, probably more importantly, my passion to help others and make a mark on this world. Or, I could just be sick and freaking tired of reinventing myself every two years…lol!
I am not, by any means, holding out hope that I will land a job as the CEO of Nirvana. I simply am hoping to land one that will allow me to bring a little bit of heaven into this world full of hell.
That is what this journey I am on is about, not tucking my tail and running when the hard stuff comes but doing what it takes to find an anchor. One I can hold to when the winds of change tell me I should drop the life raft and get the heck out of dodge!
With a little luck and some creativity…and yes, determination…I might just find a job that makes me look forward to Mondays.
Wish me luck!